"There are possibilities of me falling out of my chair today." Is the status I posted on fbook this morning for good reason. silly tired with a side of hangover. But I had possibly the best long weekend I have had in recent memory! The sisterly love I have for my best friend was on highest levels on the love-o-meter this weekend as she walked down the aisle as possibly the most bride ever! Seriously, ever. :)
Well beautiful she is, she is also kind and hardworking and really one of those people who doesn't speak poorly of others! In the past 6 months she not only planned a stunning wedding but she completely revamped her life by going through a nutritional and strength training program geared at turning your life upside down! Well she didn't just do it she done did it! The girl has never looked better! I have been in the same program for about 6 weeks and I can already see an incredible change taking place. It is hard work though, for that I can attest. How she planned a wedding and changed the very core of a lifestyle shows me that nothing is impossible! I am proud and inspired!
On to the topic of inspiration, TEDxColumbiaSC 2.0 was yesterday!
I was thinking back on some of the amazing talks I heard and I think one of the most underrated talk, just because he went first and it was a long day so he was less likely to be mentioned, was a young man by the name of Chase Mi-something or other. I am terrible with names! He is a student at the University of South Carolina who asked a simple question "Where does all that uneaten food go?" The difference with Chase is he kept asking the question until he found the answer he wanted! Well it took a bit more than asking questions but the head strong student broke down the barriers of "No we can't" to "Yes we can" and now instead of being thrown away, the left over food is donated!
If more times in our lives we could remember to keep asking the question because eventually we will find the right answer and the right person will be right along side you!
Then the volunteers and organizers went to celebrate at Gervais and Vine where one will always be over served and under fed, but that is the night that magic sometimes happens!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Don't cry for me Willy Wonka.
So I just wanted to take a moment to put some things down in writing!
It is January 2013, which is absolutely crazballs.
I cried like a baby yesterday and it felt good. I was so exhausted from an entire week of Willy Wonka, if you have never worked with a group of children then you have absolutely NO idea how tiring it is. We give teachers a hard time, which is wrong on so many levels, but the majority of people have no clue what how emotionally and physically exhausting it is to have to split your focus on 30+ little balls of energy. Because kids are takers, they take and take and take and take and you know what they always want more need more take more. It is the brilliance of kids, they are sponges. It is weird to think about, we will chastise you for taking too much when you are an adult but at the same time tell you to keep your inner child! Isn't your inner child a taker. Hmm. I am a giver, in romantic relationships it becomes a problem, but I think that is why I am good with kids. I love it, going in and giving all I have so that when they leave me they are a little more full than they were when I got there! But those little fast metabolizing taker will be back in full force next time I see them, and I will be ready....HOWEVER, 5 days and 4 performances left me completely out of my own lifer force and I was crying to some song on the radio as I drove back from the Harbison Theatre. Do you ever do that, just cry because you are so tired and hungry and you just want your mommy?
So I came home and ate and slept and now I am recharged and ready to take on the day. I will have two full weeks off from my kids but that doesn't mean this week is any slower. When your best friend is getting married in 6 days you have lots to think about. I need to come up with a speech (and by come up with I mean edit down and take out inappropriate references). It is a lot of work to not plunge into a pity party realizing that I am officially the only one of my group of friends not married. Shit I am not even dating anyone, no one not even a prospect. That I am ok with though. In my mind right now boys suck and I will throw rocks at them. But that is a whole other post.
So all this up and down of emotions made me realize I need to put some things down in writing to remind myself how unbelievably lucky I am:
I had the opportunity to work with amazing kids and direct an adorable show.
I am in good health, and am in the process of making life changes to make that GREAT health.
I have 2 adorable cats.
I have a car and a home and money in my account and food in my fridge.
I woke up this morning.
My best friend is getting married and I get to share that with her.
My brother is going to have a daughter in a little over a month.
My boss is like a best friend and I get to work with her every day.
My family is supportive.
There is music in the world, and art and love.
So all that being said, even with all the things that could be, I think I have it pretty good with what is!
It is January 2013, which is absolutely crazballs.
I cried like a baby yesterday and it felt good. I was so exhausted from an entire week of Willy Wonka, if you have never worked with a group of children then you have absolutely NO idea how tiring it is. We give teachers a hard time, which is wrong on so many levels, but the majority of people have no clue what how emotionally and physically exhausting it is to have to split your focus on 30+ little balls of energy. Because kids are takers, they take and take and take and take and you know what they always want more need more take more. It is the brilliance of kids, they are sponges. It is weird to think about, we will chastise you for taking too much when you are an adult but at the same time tell you to keep your inner child! Isn't your inner child a taker. Hmm. I am a giver, in romantic relationships it becomes a problem, but I think that is why I am good with kids. I love it, going in and giving all I have so that when they leave me they are a little more full than they were when I got there! But those little fast metabolizing taker will be back in full force next time I see them, and I will be ready....HOWEVER, 5 days and 4 performances left me completely out of my own lifer force and I was crying to some song on the radio as I drove back from the Harbison Theatre. Do you ever do that, just cry because you are so tired and hungry and you just want your mommy?
So I came home and ate and slept and now I am recharged and ready to take on the day. I will have two full weeks off from my kids but that doesn't mean this week is any slower. When your best friend is getting married in 6 days you have lots to think about. I need to come up with a speech (and by come up with I mean edit down and take out inappropriate references). It is a lot of work to not plunge into a pity party realizing that I am officially the only one of my group of friends not married. Shit I am not even dating anyone, no one not even a prospect. That I am ok with though. In my mind right now boys suck and I will throw rocks at them. But that is a whole other post.
So all this up and down of emotions made me realize I need to put some things down in writing to remind myself how unbelievably lucky I am:
I had the opportunity to work with amazing kids and direct an adorable show.
I am in good health, and am in the process of making life changes to make that GREAT health.
I have 2 adorable cats.
I have a car and a home and money in my account and food in my fridge.
I woke up this morning.
My best friend is getting married and I get to share that with her.
My brother is going to have a daughter in a little over a month.
My boss is like a best friend and I get to work with her every day.
My family is supportive.
There is music in the world, and art and love.
So all that being said, even with all the things that could be, I think I have it pretty good with what is!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Trust me?!
My cats drink water out of my fish bowls, just a sidebar of info., and I think it is really cute. Just hope they don't actually get the fish! I am thoroughly enjoying my job with the school district. My brother and his wife are going to have a daughter in February. My friends are all marrying and babying and I am trying not to eat too much caking!
Anywho so I don't have any drama to talk about right now, well except for the little pit of drama darkness that just kind of hangs out in the back of my head all the time. I keep a pretty barrier up around it most of the time.
Well except for last night when I got all freaked out about not knowing what is going to happen. Like in a situation between two people, I freaked out because things are all nice and calm and I was all OMG when is the bottom going to fall out. It took the form of me being accusatory and finger pointy and victimy but as I was talking my way through it I realized it was just my nerves, my anxiety, my worry. I get that from my maternal grandmother, Nanny, ooooo that woman could worry.
So there it is, my worry. It is always there, the ability to just loose all control of my rational self, that understands that a lot of the joy of life is the wonder and the not knowing, and fling my mind into this existential moshpit. What does this mean? Will it end? Everything ends, oh no what will happen when it ends...you get my drift.
I must say, however, that I have begun to study my mental moshpits. I try and figure out what happens to trigger them, and how do I get out of them. Well meds help some but I stay on extremely low doses of everything I take because I want to to be more me than meds. But it seems that talking through the pit got me to the base of it and back out again a lot faster than normal. By talking through the irrational outer layer I was able to get myself into the inner layer of understanding. I figured out why I spiraled. It is said that someone like me who grew up in the situation I grew up in has a harder time grasping and sustaining healthy relationships because they are unknown.
The bottom always falls out. Well it always has before so doesn't that mean that it is going to again? Maybe, but the difference is I have more control over it than I used to. I have more knowledge as a tool to help me. I could pull a nanny and worry myself sick over what is going to happen, but I don't want to do that.
If someone you love breaks your trust the worse thing you can do is stop trusting, or stop loving. For me trust issues are like, duh. I mean I am not even going to get into all the crazy scenarios I have actually lived through that then turn themselves into worry when I am in new situations because I will think oh God what if that happens again. Um whoa brain, let's just hold our horses. What if it does happen again? You lived through it the first time and look how brilliant you still are (a little praise is needed from time to time, right?) So then let the record show that you are alive and the better for it.
So boom, problem solved. Well you know not exactly but it is a start. I think trusting someone new, or again, or for real, is that little flutter you get. Sometimes when I think about how much I love and care for some people I get that little flutter, and yes it is because I love them but it is also because I trust them, and that's a good place to start!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
At least someone appreciates my DRAMA!
Seriously, last Saturday was pretty dramatic for me! I start off on a 3 mile run and end up on a ball crying on my floor! But then I wrote about it! I got mad and sad and cried and posted it on Facebook and Twitter and you read all about it! The emotional lawnmower of the past year and a half! A lot of people commented in extremely supportive ways, others told me I need to take it down because it made me look lame! Whatever, I don't give to salt shakes how it makes me look! People, professional people, will tell you that when you are going through something extreme, something traumatic that you should share it! That goes for the good and the bad! "They" also tell you that if you can find something healthy that will make you feel better than by all means get on it, what are you waiting for? So I did, I got on and got it out!
I kid you not by the end of the day I felt so completely refreshed! Crying alone can just make you feel better, like you have this ish inside of you that needs to come out and the only way to get it out is just to let it fall in salty tears down your face and in my case onto my floor! It is a bonus when you scare your cat, I love scaring my cats! It also helped me realize that *Liza cat, not so good with the comforting, first sign of the water works and she was off to the living room to lounge on the sofa in the sunlight, clearly she is a Bender! However, my *Ranger kitty was right there with me making biscuits on my back trying to make me feel better. His purrs normally warm my heart but there was a no go at that point, not until I wrote it out!
Now I will admit that the post itself is histrionic, and melancholy! Which is kind of beautiful in its own way because what is delight without melancholia and what is the blessing of reserve if you don't completely blow it away in the most over dramatic way possible! I am not trying to diminish what I wrote. That junk is a mess, I have been through a pile of it and have started to dig my way out, but let's be honest here, I have a lot of staring in the mirror a head of me!
Really, none of this happens if I walk away, hindsight 20/20 is all that I know but that is not an excuse! I don't get to make terrible decisions about my love life and just wash them away with the cleansing cloth of hindsight. I make TERRIBLE decisions when it comes to love and relationships!
Yeah I have other excuses and reasons and I went through a helluva a lot growing up that most don't have to, I grew up day one and never looked back! But I still am the one making those decisions! Ugh. over and over and over again! I am the one who answers that phone when he calls I am the one who cries and goes back for more. But I am also the one who will stand on her soap box and talk about how the world is just a long list of choices that we make! We create the life we lead by the choices we make and the responses we give...it is so frustrating to not be able to take your own advice, to have insight and wisdom to give others but to completely toss it in the air and hide from it like a child when it comes to my own life. (the image of me making it rain with insightful one liners pops in here)
Now I will say that on Saturday night I asked, well demanded really, that my a couple of my (non-pregnant) girl friends take me out on the town. I needed some social interaction. And I must say it was a total success! I danced and people watched and felt good about how my taste in men has changed since the last time I was out at a bar with a glimmer in my eye! I know what I want and I am not afraid to wait for it! I did meet a good looking guy who was smart and tall and hey interested in me! I gave him my number but he hasn't called. And I don't really mind, I don't feel let down or rejected by the guy who didn't call I mean hell just giving him my number was a big step and helped me get my confidence back! It was easy! Besides if he didn't call then he probably wasn't looking for anything more than a one-night-fun-stand, and hey I am no prude but you can guarantee it is going to take a lot more than a witty repartee complemented by a gin & tonic (or 2)! Having that confidence that you are not going to be paralyzed with self doubt because a guy didn't call is for lack of a better word, freeing! Bring it on! Sure I will give you my number, I am not going home with you but if you want to talk again call me, if not I am gonna be juuuust fine!
I am totally flawed and totally fine with it!
I am totally dramatic and totally thankful for it!
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*Liza Kitty not caring about the drama.
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**Ranger Kitty being all "I care"
I kid you not by the end of the day I felt so completely refreshed! Crying alone can just make you feel better, like you have this ish inside of you that needs to come out and the only way to get it out is just to let it fall in salty tears down your face and in my case onto my floor! It is a bonus when you scare your cat, I love scaring my cats! It also helped me realize that *Liza cat, not so good with the comforting, first sign of the water works and she was off to the living room to lounge on the sofa in the sunlight, clearly she is a Bender! However, my *Ranger kitty was right there with me making biscuits on my back trying to make me feel better. His purrs normally warm my heart but there was a no go at that point, not until I wrote it out!
Now I will admit that the post itself is histrionic, and melancholy! Which is kind of beautiful in its own way because what is delight without melancholia and what is the blessing of reserve if you don't completely blow it away in the most over dramatic way possible! I am not trying to diminish what I wrote. That junk is a mess, I have been through a pile of it and have started to dig my way out, but let's be honest here, I have a lot of staring in the mirror a head of me!
Really, none of this happens if I walk away, hindsight 20/20 is all that I know but that is not an excuse! I don't get to make terrible decisions about my love life and just wash them away with the cleansing cloth of hindsight. I make TERRIBLE decisions when it comes to love and relationships!
Yeah I have other excuses and reasons and I went through a helluva a lot growing up that most don't have to, I grew up day one and never looked back! But I still am the one making those decisions! Ugh. over and over and over again! I am the one who answers that phone when he calls I am the one who cries and goes back for more. But I am also the one who will stand on her soap box and talk about how the world is just a long list of choices that we make! We create the life we lead by the choices we make and the responses we give...it is so frustrating to not be able to take your own advice, to have insight and wisdom to give others but to completely toss it in the air and hide from it like a child when it comes to my own life. (the image of me making it rain with insightful one liners pops in here)
Now I will say that on Saturday night I asked, well demanded really, that my a couple of my (non-pregnant) girl friends take me out on the town. I needed some social interaction. And I must say it was a total success! I danced and people watched and felt good about how my taste in men has changed since the last time I was out at a bar with a glimmer in my eye! I know what I want and I am not afraid to wait for it! I did meet a good looking guy who was smart and tall and hey interested in me! I gave him my number but he hasn't called. And I don't really mind, I don't feel let down or rejected by the guy who didn't call I mean hell just giving him my number was a big step and helped me get my confidence back! It was easy! Besides if he didn't call then he probably wasn't looking for anything more than a one-night-fun-stand, and hey I am no prude but you can guarantee it is going to take a lot more than a witty repartee complemented by a gin & tonic (or 2)! Having that confidence that you are not going to be paralyzed with self doubt because a guy didn't call is for lack of a better word, freeing! Bring it on! Sure I will give you my number, I am not going home with you but if you want to talk again call me, if not I am gonna be juuuust fine!
I am totally flawed and totally fine with it!
I am totally dramatic and totally thankful for it!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
The Campaign
I'm starting a campaign. A campaign to get the awesome back! In the past year and a half I have done some pretty great stuff! I joined the Board of Directors at Trustus Theatre, a place that I have dedicated many years of my life. I stage managed several shows, threw successful fundraisers, stared in a critically acclaimed show. I got a job working for the school district I grew up in, one that I have always been proud of and thankful was where I spent the majority of my childhood. Not only am I working for the district I love I am working in the Visual and Performing Arts Department. Talk about finding a good fit. My best friends have gotten engaged, married, pregnant and have had babies.
I have watched the Columbia arts community rise up two years in a row against a Governor that feels the need to cut funding for so many of the things that make this state such a treasure. I occupied the state house grounds with a belief and a conviction that things in this country can and will be better. I have met amazing people and shared amazing dreams. I have created and exhibited works of art. I have seen shows that have shaken me to my core. I have travelled and shared experiences with so many wonderful people. But so much of that awesomeness has taken a back seat to one person, one relationship, one less than awesome situation.
I met a man, and knew felt the red flags go up from the start. This man is not good news. But this man is charming and funny and extremely into me. So I have spent the past year and a half of my life in constant turmoil with this man. He loves me and holds me close, he laughs with me and is tender and sweet. Then he throws me away and ignores me. He searches through crowds of other people to find anyone but me to talk to and be with. Many times have I cried and yelled and cursed and begged. I have left and hated and vowed. Then he would come back, and break down my resolve with his words and his touch. He would pull me back in and stroke my anger back down to compliance. He would give me days of joy and togetherness and companionship for which we all search.
Then he would drop a bomb. I don't think we should be exclusive. I am just not that type of person, and I would try. As much as it hurt I would allow him to go out with other women. I would put on a facade that I was strong and cool and didn't care. All the while panicked and defeated and just praying that he didn't meet someone he liked more than me. I saw it as a bizarre challenge, that the more I could get him with me the less he would be out there looking for others. The more a made myself what he wanted in me the less he would want someone else. So I did that, I played that game.
Then one day he met someone he liked better than me...for the moment. An older woman with money and a glamorous job. For her he had to stand up straight and watch what he was saying, he couldn't let her in to see the mess that is his real life. With me I saw all the dirty darkness and knew exactly who he was when his guard was down and his humility high. And I loved him still. She made him a proposition. Her job was sending her to Italy, Africa, Dubai and she didn't want to go alone, so she offered to pay his way. He told me this in a casual conversation one afternoon. I was devastated. I was reeling and couldn't believe this was happening. Yet I loved him still, I told him to take the trip of a life time but that we were over. And I hoped we were. But then he called.
He kept calling and pulling and twisting and bending me. And I gave in, I stayed with him until the day he left on his trip. I spent the next three weeks in complete misery. I became seriously ill and depressed. I can't remember much else of the time except for that. But he wrote to me. He sent me an email telling me he was thinking of me. And I read it and loved it and somehow that made me feel like I was winning. But I decided NO, I am being crazy what is wrong with me I am better than this. And I got well and I got up and got over him. Well at least I thought I did.
Then he came home. The day he came home he called me. And he called me. And he texted me. And he emailed me. And for the first time he started giving me the attention I had always wanted from him. Slowly he began to get back into me. He told me he loved me and that it took getting that far away from em to realize it. So I was sold. And everything went so fast after that, we moved in and we were happy and we spent Christmas with his mom and I thought this was good. Until it wasn't. The romantic notions from his trip overseas started to crumble and so did his desire to be with me. So he left me, alone, at his house. He would go out all night or spend the night on the floor of his art studio. He wouldn't tell me where he was or where he was going. He would ignore me when he was in the same room as me and lie next to me in the bed like a stranger.
So I moved out but we stayed together, I know right it is exhausting. We would spend 2-3 days/nights together and they would be great, then he would spend the next 4-5 days/nights doing his best to avoid me. This went on for most of the summer, until now. Until finally for some reason I woke up. I feel like I have been asleep through all these AMAZING things that have happened in my life because I was only half a person. He had half of me, my heart and he wasn't letting it go. I was a mind and a body walking around in search of my heart. But I am taking it back.
I told him goodbye and wrote him several emails that just spewed all the hatred that had built up in me. I am so mad at him for doing this, and I am so mad at me for allowing it to happen over and over and over again. On my run this morning I noticed his car parked outside of that woman's house and I it crushed me. I ran home and cried my eyes out, on my hardwood floor. So many questions. Why did he come back to me, when she took him on that trip why had he come back wanting ME. Especially since he's just ended up right back in her bed. But as I told a friend it had to happen. I had to see that. I had to empty it all out. Every last bit of love and emotion from hatred to compassion and kindness and jealousy, has to all come out for me to move on. And I feel like it is, and I will.
SO my campaign to bring back the awesome. I am going to get up and go try on bridesmaids dress for my best friend's wedding. A woman I am so lucky to have in my life and who is going to marry the man that treasures her above all! (More than dirt and football) And I will go to Trustus and watch the last night of the last show of Jim and Kay's last season. I will be there on Monday as we say good-bye to them and the end of an era. I will be with family. I will be with friends and I will find my awesome even if it begins with some red eyes and a tear-streaked face.
I have watched the Columbia arts community rise up two years in a row against a Governor that feels the need to cut funding for so many of the things that make this state such a treasure. I occupied the state house grounds with a belief and a conviction that things in this country can and will be better. I have met amazing people and shared amazing dreams. I have created and exhibited works of art. I have seen shows that have shaken me to my core. I have travelled and shared experiences with so many wonderful people. But so much of that awesomeness has taken a back seat to one person, one relationship, one less than awesome situation.
I met a man, and knew felt the red flags go up from the start. This man is not good news. But this man is charming and funny and extremely into me. So I have spent the past year and a half of my life in constant turmoil with this man. He loves me and holds me close, he laughs with me and is tender and sweet. Then he throws me away and ignores me. He searches through crowds of other people to find anyone but me to talk to and be with. Many times have I cried and yelled and cursed and begged. I have left and hated and vowed. Then he would come back, and break down my resolve with his words and his touch. He would pull me back in and stroke my anger back down to compliance. He would give me days of joy and togetherness and companionship for which we all search.
Then he would drop a bomb. I don't think we should be exclusive. I am just not that type of person, and I would try. As much as it hurt I would allow him to go out with other women. I would put on a facade that I was strong and cool and didn't care. All the while panicked and defeated and just praying that he didn't meet someone he liked more than me. I saw it as a bizarre challenge, that the more I could get him with me the less he would be out there looking for others. The more a made myself what he wanted in me the less he would want someone else. So I did that, I played that game.
Then one day he met someone he liked better than me...for the moment. An older woman with money and a glamorous job. For her he had to stand up straight and watch what he was saying, he couldn't let her in to see the mess that is his real life. With me I saw all the dirty darkness and knew exactly who he was when his guard was down and his humility high. And I loved him still. She made him a proposition. Her job was sending her to Italy, Africa, Dubai and she didn't want to go alone, so she offered to pay his way. He told me this in a casual conversation one afternoon. I was devastated. I was reeling and couldn't believe this was happening. Yet I loved him still, I told him to take the trip of a life time but that we were over. And I hoped we were. But then he called.
He kept calling and pulling and twisting and bending me. And I gave in, I stayed with him until the day he left on his trip. I spent the next three weeks in complete misery. I became seriously ill and depressed. I can't remember much else of the time except for that. But he wrote to me. He sent me an email telling me he was thinking of me. And I read it and loved it and somehow that made me feel like I was winning. But I decided NO, I am being crazy what is wrong with me I am better than this. And I got well and I got up and got over him. Well at least I thought I did.
Then he came home. The day he came home he called me. And he called me. And he texted me. And he emailed me. And for the first time he started giving me the attention I had always wanted from him. Slowly he began to get back into me. He told me he loved me and that it took getting that far away from em to realize it. So I was sold. And everything went so fast after that, we moved in and we were happy and we spent Christmas with his mom and I thought this was good. Until it wasn't. The romantic notions from his trip overseas started to crumble and so did his desire to be with me. So he left me, alone, at his house. He would go out all night or spend the night on the floor of his art studio. He wouldn't tell me where he was or where he was going. He would ignore me when he was in the same room as me and lie next to me in the bed like a stranger.
So I moved out but we stayed together, I know right it is exhausting. We would spend 2-3 days/nights together and they would be great, then he would spend the next 4-5 days/nights doing his best to avoid me. This went on for most of the summer, until now. Until finally for some reason I woke up. I feel like I have been asleep through all these AMAZING things that have happened in my life because I was only half a person. He had half of me, my heart and he wasn't letting it go. I was a mind and a body walking around in search of my heart. But I am taking it back.
I told him goodbye and wrote him several emails that just spewed all the hatred that had built up in me. I am so mad at him for doing this, and I am so mad at me for allowing it to happen over and over and over again. On my run this morning I noticed his car parked outside of that woman's house and I it crushed me. I ran home and cried my eyes out, on my hardwood floor. So many questions. Why did he come back to me, when she took him on that trip why had he come back wanting ME. Especially since he's just ended up right back in her bed. But as I told a friend it had to happen. I had to see that. I had to empty it all out. Every last bit of love and emotion from hatred to compassion and kindness and jealousy, has to all come out for me to move on. And I feel like it is, and I will.
SO my campaign to bring back the awesome. I am going to get up and go try on bridesmaids dress for my best friend's wedding. A woman I am so lucky to have in my life and who is going to marry the man that treasures her above all! (More than dirt and football) And I will go to Trustus and watch the last night of the last show of Jim and Kay's last season. I will be there on Monday as we say good-bye to them and the end of an era. I will be with family. I will be with friends and I will find my awesome even if it begins with some red eyes and a tear-streaked face.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Kitties for SALE!!
Not MY kitties. I love my kitties, my bf may have less than love for my kitties but he deals, sometimes better than others!
Anywho I digress.
Last month we had a late night show at Trustus in the Black Box space and I asked my friend Katherine to do some art work for the lobby area. The show was called Kitty Kitty Kitty, a dime store version of the plot would be that a cat fell in love with himself and cloned himself then that clone cloned himself and so on and so forth until there was nothing but cat hysteria! Well Katherine did a great job of coordinating the art outside to the art inside, with her kitty art adaptations!
Having sold 5 of the water color paintings already and with one on hold I am posting the rest to see if any of you would like to buy one!! Here they are in all their $40 (negotiable) glory :
These last two are a little more special and are of the $50 varietal!
If you are interested just leave a comment or send an email to thegallerytrustus@gmail.com
Get your kitty face on!
Anywho I digress.
Last month we had a late night show at Trustus in the Black Box space and I asked my friend Katherine to do some art work for the lobby area. The show was called Kitty Kitty Kitty, a dime store version of the plot would be that a cat fell in love with himself and cloned himself then that clone cloned himself and so on and so forth until there was nothing but cat hysteria! Well Katherine did a great job of coordinating the art outside to the art inside, with her kitty art adaptations!
Having sold 5 of the water color paintings already and with one on hold I am posting the rest to see if any of you would like to buy one!! Here they are in all their $40 (negotiable) glory :
If you are interested just leave a comment or send an email to thegallerytrustus@gmail.com
Get your kitty face on!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
I have issues...
OBVIOUSLY, I mean for one thing I sporadically write on this blog, and I say write lightly as my bf just calls it random rantings. Luckily I am pretty cute so he deals with it.
One of my biggest issues, besides the fact that I love control top pantyhose, is that I don't understand other people sometimes. And by sometimes I mean a lot of the time. I am unforgiving and judgmental, not all or even most of the time but there is quite a bit of the time in my life where I am passing judgement on others. I know this is not suppose to be something you do but umm hello I am human, and American and well we American humans sure like to pass judgement, not sure about those American non-humans of which I am sure there are plenty.
The other day I was standing in our office kitchen after The boss man had kindly gone to Sam's and bought a bunch of food and snacks for us to have around the office. Something that is not required but is such a nice touch from upper-management, there are so many perks about working for a smaller non-profit besides you know the salary and general good nature of the service you provide to others. Anywho I made the comment to my co-worker that I don't understand why they keep buying the container of little muffins. It is a big box of banana nut and blueberry muffins that come in packs of two. The grease covers the plastic and I feel like you can just see the lard oozing out of them...yummers, not. At least that is what I think. Gross who would eat that crap. I look at the back of the package and the two muffins that fit in my hand take up almost an ENTIRE days allotted amount of fat grams. On average we should allow ourselves 60gs of fat per day. The two little muffins that could barely be called a snack have almost 55gs of fat in them. So I make a judgement call, who would want to eat something that wouldn't fill you up and takes up all the fat you can have in one day. And of course the answer is rhetorical because we all know what I meant by it, people who don't care about health and who are most likely over-weight anyway. My co-worker rebuts with well not everyone is like you Sumner, and it took me by surprise. Not surprise really but it set me back a bit. She was right, and that is something I have to remember more often. I actually pride myself as being different than others some may say weird others quirky, but I do march to the tune of my own drummer, most of the time. Always have. I remember at Sunday dinner I used to climb the bars on our windows (in a frock dress and paten leather shoes of course) and pretend I was a monkey at the zoo. Everyone would laugh or sign and make me get down, lack of new material. But that being said, I think of myself as open-minded I encourage different thoughts and life-styles, but that one statement made me question whether I really do cherish those differences out there. When it comes to people whose ideals I do not agree with, those who would speak out against gay marriage or the rights of minorities for example, I would just say they exist so that I can appose them. If they they didn't have differing beliefs then I wouldn't stand out...and that can be a good thing but it in a way is totally self-righteous. I appreciate them for believing things I think are awful to believe because it makes me feel more enlightened and cultured to not believe that way. So to get knocked off my little happy horse of enlightenment I realize that I am so quick to judge all the time. Especially when it comes to diets and exercise of others. I won't judge you for being gay or Muslim or for being on government assistance programs, but if you are lazy and obese I judge you. Is it because I believe that you were born gay and Muslim and that life doesn't deal a fair hand and the government is here to help those who need it, but it is your choice to eat poorly and not exercise.
Maybe because it scares me, because that could be me. I am in no way skinny, never have been, and I could most definitely exercise more often, but lazy I am not. Obese, far from it. I have made a point in my life to watch my weight and find that my volatile mind is more at ease when exercise is in my life, yet I over indulge on sweets and carb-loaded meat heavy meals quite often. It is a choice but it is my choice. Who am I to look at you and judge your life decisions. But part of me things the judgement is justified. Obesity and laziness is becoming the norm in our country and has been for some time now. Is it OK for people to voice their dissenting opinions about race and religion, politics and values, but not about basic life-style choices. I don't know. I know that passing poor judgement on others does not make me happier, it doesn't make me a better person, but I know it is something that is hard for me to not do. When does the judgment change from opinion to obligation? Should i write the calorie content of a donut and put it on the box of twelve that my co-worker brought in to share with everyone? No I shouldn't because everyone isn't like me, and bless them for it. What a zany world it would be if there were tons more Sumners running around talking with their hands and saying shit that girls say too often.
This definitely qualifies as a rant considering it really has no point except to point out some indecision I have in my head. I lost 30lbs this year because I believe that eating well will enrich my life. I changed my desk into a standing desk because I believe that inactivity will kill you; I believe it will dull your mind and attack your soul and eventually weaken your body, the three gifts we are truly given in this life! Part of me wonders why you haven't done the same thing. Why do you down the donut for breakfast, greasy burger for lunch, sit all day at your desk only to switch to your car then couch then bed? These are things I will wonder about you. Part of me wants to talk to you about it and teach you the ways to change, but the other part of me knows that you are not like me and you will do what you will because that is your right. I will appreciate you for your difference to me but will always wonder why!
We all have things on which we pass judgement more frequently than others, that is one thing that connects us to each other, our differences. So in judging we are in some way connecting to each other. It doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it good it just makes it human. Human is not a shield or an excuse, it is a thing we can strive to be better at being, together!
One of my biggest issues, besides the fact that I love control top pantyhose, is that I don't understand other people sometimes. And by sometimes I mean a lot of the time. I am unforgiving and judgmental, not all or even most of the time but there is quite a bit of the time in my life where I am passing judgement on others. I know this is not suppose to be something you do but umm hello I am human, and American and well we American humans sure like to pass judgement, not sure about those American non-humans of which I am sure there are plenty.
The other day I was standing in our office kitchen after The boss man had kindly gone to Sam's and bought a bunch of food and snacks for us to have around the office. Something that is not required but is such a nice touch from upper-management, there are so many perks about working for a smaller non-profit besides you know the salary and general good nature of the service you provide to others. Anywho I made the comment to my co-worker that I don't understand why they keep buying the container of little muffins. It is a big box of banana nut and blueberry muffins that come in packs of two. The grease covers the plastic and I feel like you can just see the lard oozing out of them...yummers, not. At least that is what I think. Gross who would eat that crap. I look at the back of the package and the two muffins that fit in my hand take up almost an ENTIRE days allotted amount of fat grams. On average we should allow ourselves 60gs of fat per day. The two little muffins that could barely be called a snack have almost 55gs of fat in them. So I make a judgement call, who would want to eat something that wouldn't fill you up and takes up all the fat you can have in one day. And of course the answer is rhetorical because we all know what I meant by it, people who don't care about health and who are most likely over-weight anyway. My co-worker rebuts with well not everyone is like you Sumner, and it took me by surprise. Not surprise really but it set me back a bit. She was right, and that is something I have to remember more often. I actually pride myself as being different than others some may say weird others quirky, but I do march to the tune of my own drummer, most of the time. Always have. I remember at Sunday dinner I used to climb the bars on our windows (in a frock dress and paten leather shoes of course) and pretend I was a monkey at the zoo. Everyone would laugh or sign and make me get down, lack of new material. But that being said, I think of myself as open-minded I encourage different thoughts and life-styles, but that one statement made me question whether I really do cherish those differences out there. When it comes to people whose ideals I do not agree with, those who would speak out against gay marriage or the rights of minorities for example, I would just say they exist so that I can appose them. If they they didn't have differing beliefs then I wouldn't stand out...and that can be a good thing but it in a way is totally self-righteous. I appreciate them for believing things I think are awful to believe because it makes me feel more enlightened and cultured to not believe that way. So to get knocked off my little happy horse of enlightenment I realize that I am so quick to judge all the time. Especially when it comes to diets and exercise of others. I won't judge you for being gay or Muslim or for being on government assistance programs, but if you are lazy and obese I judge you. Is it because I believe that you were born gay and Muslim and that life doesn't deal a fair hand and the government is here to help those who need it, but it is your choice to eat poorly and not exercise.
Maybe because it scares me, because that could be me. I am in no way skinny, never have been, and I could most definitely exercise more often, but lazy I am not. Obese, far from it. I have made a point in my life to watch my weight and find that my volatile mind is more at ease when exercise is in my life, yet I over indulge on sweets and carb-loaded meat heavy meals quite often. It is a choice but it is my choice. Who am I to look at you and judge your life decisions. But part of me things the judgement is justified. Obesity and laziness is becoming the norm in our country and has been for some time now. Is it OK for people to voice their dissenting opinions about race and religion, politics and values, but not about basic life-style choices. I don't know. I know that passing poor judgement on others does not make me happier, it doesn't make me a better person, but I know it is something that is hard for me to not do. When does the judgment change from opinion to obligation? Should i write the calorie content of a donut and put it on the box of twelve that my co-worker brought in to share with everyone? No I shouldn't because everyone isn't like me, and bless them for it. What a zany world it would be if there were tons more Sumners running around talking with their hands and saying shit that girls say too often.
This definitely qualifies as a rant considering it really has no point except to point out some indecision I have in my head. I lost 30lbs this year because I believe that eating well will enrich my life. I changed my desk into a standing desk because I believe that inactivity will kill you; I believe it will dull your mind and attack your soul and eventually weaken your body, the three gifts we are truly given in this life! Part of me wonders why you haven't done the same thing. Why do you down the donut for breakfast, greasy burger for lunch, sit all day at your desk only to switch to your car then couch then bed? These are things I will wonder about you. Part of me wants to talk to you about it and teach you the ways to change, but the other part of me knows that you are not like me and you will do what you will because that is your right. I will appreciate you for your difference to me but will always wonder why!
We all have things on which we pass judgement more frequently than others, that is one thing that connects us to each other, our differences. So in judging we are in some way connecting to each other. It doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it good it just makes it human. Human is not a shield or an excuse, it is a thing we can strive to be better at being, together!
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