I have issues...

OBVIOUSLY, I mean for one thing I sporadically write on this blog, and I say write lightly as my bf just calls it random rantings. Luckily I am pretty cute so he deals with it.

One of my biggest issues, besides the fact that I love control top pantyhose, is that I don't understand other people sometimes. And by sometimes I mean a lot of the time. I am unforgiving and judgmental, not all or even most of the time but there is quite a bit of the time in my life where I am passing judgement on others. I know this is not suppose to be something you do but umm hello I am human, and American and well we American humans sure like to pass judgement, not sure about those American non-humans of which I am sure there are plenty.

The other day I was standing in our office kitchen after The boss man had kindly gone to Sam's and bought a bunch of food and snacks for us to have around the office. Something that is not required but is such a nice touch from upper-management, there are so many perks about working for a smaller non-profit besides you know the salary and general good nature of the service you provide to others. Anywho I made the comment to my co-worker that I don't understand why they keep buying the container of little muffins. It is a big box of banana nut and blueberry muffins that come in packs of two. The grease covers the plastic and I feel like you can just see the lard oozing out of them...yummers, not. At least that is what I think. Gross who would eat that crap. I look at the back of the package and the two muffins that fit in my hand take up almost an ENTIRE days allotted amount of fat grams. On average we should allow ourselves 60gs of fat per day. The two little muffins that could barely be called a snack have almost 55gs of fat in them. So I make a judgement call, who would want to eat something that wouldn't fill you up and takes up all the fat you can have in one day. And of course the answer is rhetorical because we all know what I meant by it, people who don't care about health and who are most likely over-weight anyway. My co-worker rebuts with well not everyone is like you Sumner, and it took me by surprise. Not surprise really but it set me back a bit. She was right, and that is something I have to remember more often. I actually pride myself as being different than others some may say weird others quirky, but I do march to the tune of my own drummer, most of the time. Always have. I remember at Sunday dinner I used to climb the bars on our windows (in a frock dress and paten leather shoes of course) and pretend I was a monkey at the zoo. Everyone would laugh or sign and make me get down, lack of new material. But that being said, I think of myself as open-minded I encourage different thoughts and life-styles, but that one statement made me question whether I really do cherish those differences out there. When it comes to people whose ideals I do not agree with, those who would speak out against gay marriage or the rights of minorities for example, I would just say they exist so that I can appose them. If they they didn't have differing beliefs then I wouldn't stand out...and that can be a good thing but it in a way is totally self-righteous. I appreciate them for believing things I think are awful to believe because it makes me feel more enlightened and cultured to not believe that way. So to get knocked off my little happy horse of enlightenment I realize that I am so quick to judge all the time. Especially when it comes to diets and exercise of others. I won't judge you for being gay or Muslim or for being on government assistance programs, but if you are lazy and obese I judge you. Is it because I believe that you were born gay and Muslim and that life doesn't deal a fair hand and the government is here to help those who need it, but it is your choice to eat poorly and not exercise.

Maybe because it scares me, because that could be me. I am in no way skinny, never have been, and I could most definitely exercise more often, but lazy I am not. Obese, far from it.  I have made a point in my life to watch my weight and find that my volatile mind is more at ease when exercise is in my life, yet I over indulge on sweets and carb-loaded meat heavy meals quite often. It is a choice but it is my choice. Who am I to look at you and judge your life decisions. But part of me things the judgement is justified. Obesity and laziness is becoming the norm in our country and has been for some time now. Is it OK for people to voice their dissenting opinions about race and religion, politics and values, but not about basic life-style choices. I don't know. I know that passing poor judgement on others does not make me happier, it doesn't make me a better person, but I know it is something that is hard for me to not do. When does the judgment change from opinion to obligation? Should i write the calorie content of a donut and put it on the box of twelve that my co-worker brought in to share with everyone? No I shouldn't because everyone isn't like me, and bless them for it. What a zany world it would be if there were tons more Sumners running around talking with their hands and saying shit that girls say too often.

This definitely qualifies as a rant considering it really has no point except to point out some indecision I have in my head. I lost 30lbs this year because I believe that eating well will enrich my life. I changed my desk into a standing desk because I believe that inactivity will kill you; I believe it will dull your mind and attack your soul and eventually weaken your body, the three gifts we are truly given in this life! Part of me wonders why you haven't done the same thing. Why do you down the donut for breakfast, greasy burger for lunch, sit all day at your desk only to switch to your car then couch then bed? These are things I will wonder about you. Part of me wants to talk to you about it and teach you the ways to change, but the other part of me knows that you are not like me and you will do what you will because that is your right. I will appreciate you for your difference to me but will always wonder why!

We all have things on which we pass judgement more frequently than others, that is one thing that connects us to each other, our differences. So in judging we are in some way connecting to each other. It doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it good it just makes it human. Human is not a shield or an excuse, it is a thing we can strive to be better at being, together!

Sh*t in my boyfriend's studio...

So here is the thing, after a long and tumultuous 7 months of an on-again-off-again dating scheme the guy in my life FINALLY realized how incredibly awesome, and humble, I am and that he would be a total idiot to let me slip away. Me being the hard-headed romantic held on for the ride and glad I did so, well for now anyway (I kid I kid). We are argumentative but interesting, frustrating but passionate, and we both fancy the arts. He works at Tapp's Art Center, and moonlights as a gardener (ummm hot) and has a studio at Tapp's AC, which is a total plus because it gets all the weird stuff (I almost said crap but somehow as soon as he picks it up it is elevated from crap to stuff) he collects out of his house and into a studio. He has more freedom for creativity and I have more freedom to move everything in his house around into a more suitable atmosphere. He smiles and nods and moves heavy stuff and dreads the day that my two cats (the most precious Prince Ranger and Miss Liza) descend upon his previous cat-free territory! Well relationships are about sacrifice right, or was that compromise? Whatevs. Don't be a dick, THAT is how you do it in a relationship. BE generous, DON'T BE a dick. Back to the point, we have been working at his studio, I say we loosely, turning old coin parking meters into works of art to be auctioned off this evening at Change for Change event at 701. Mine is profound, but not very artsy, his is super artsy and would look great adorning an eclectic yard (he doesn't know it but he is totally going to have to recreate for his yard, again I say his loosely) OMG I digress, so last night while he was doing the dirty spray-painting part, I was in heels duh, I walked around his studio and took some pics of the umm stuff that has been assembled and I imagine with which he holds meaningful conversations about life, his aspirations and feelings, when no one is looking. Sidenote who remembers that kids TV show that took place in a mall after dark when all the mannequins came to life? I mean materialism propaganda at such a young age amirightguys? Right so let's get to the main event:

I may or may not have placed the sign at her HEART of course!

I am really interested in the tiny Buddha!

Do not chew on this.

Cause you just never know?

Yep just a couple lady Liberties.

Nesting.

Oh how did that close up of me get in here*

I played with both of these things, but they are more fun together!

Multiply this body part by like 20 and you are close to the bodiless limbs lying around (<-- when consonance and alliteration play nicely)

He said we could give one to the foster kid I sponsored for Christmas, right if we want to give him tetanus (not sure if you can actually get tetanus but if not why do we have to get that awful shot?)

THAT is what I got in like the 5 minutes before I got distracted by the pop music and the fact that he has an entire mirror wall, there may have been some interpretive dancing involved. There are no pictures of that, sad face for you.

* I put one of these (*) above because I have to give a mad shout-out to Molly Harrell who took this photo along with several others as part of a political art show that she and my bf put on at the fab studio/fashion frame store Frame of Mind (so clever)! BG, my bf, traded some art of his for this boarded pic of me making that American Flag fancy, I was flattered bc he didn't tell me :) Visual artists do that all the time, they trade their  awesome stuff for others awesome stuff...I am an actor I could trade you engaging conversation for some of your art...any takers, no? Worth a shot! OK back to the grind. P.S. I turned my desk into a standing desk, it is awesome! I will have to write about it...sometime! 

Happy Holidays! (<--- that is me including all race and religions, that is not me being a DICK. If you think I am being a dick for saying that then that is YOU being a DICK justsaying) 



American Antibodies.

I am amazed by those who have taken no interest in spite of themselves. This is not about party divides but I have long believed that we would rip ourselves apart with party politics. It spreads hate and negativity amongst the very people with whom we should love and care for the most, each other. I love my country but right now I am not proud of it, and I would like to reclaim from the 1% who have stolen it from us, and I would like to extinguish the complacency of the middle class that sits by and allows it to happen. Stand up for yourselves and your fellow people. Take back our country and take back our rights and so on Saturday we will start by exercising our First Amendment right! May we inspire and may we withstand the insults of those willing to deter of from our goals!

Having a conversation with one of my best friend’s this morning I stated how shocked I really am by the fact that not a single one of them seemed to have any interest in the movement. She remarked that she didn’t really know what was going on, and right there is the difference. I hear a hint of something happening and I want to know, have to know what it is and what is going on. We have so many problems in this country and I have just been hoping beyond hope that something like this would happen, and it is my fault for being so quiet before now. Quiet is not a word usually associated with me, but it is true when it comes to this point. I live in South Carolina and appose almost all of the states regulations and laws. Now of course I don’t know all of them, I mean I probably know more about them than our governor but that is another story. I have always felt strongly about politics and at times have acted very strongly too, but in the past few years I have let myself be quieted. I don’t want to ruffle too many feathers. I think I really just don’t want to dislike people and if we start talking politics I am probably not going to agree with you. This will lead to me getting heated, can’t help it you should meet my father, and then I will just shut down. I become a petulant child when it comes to politics. I like to listen to other’s opinions on a number of issues but there are many things that are written in stone for me. Now my friends have listened to my rants for years and a couple of them used to be right up there ranting with me…but most of those friends have moved away from me.

I love my friends but they are completely settled. They are married with a house and a dog and DVR. They have been educated and have health insurance, where is their need to stand up and protest, they have what they want. They may agree with the movement or disagree but I wouldn’t know…really the only response to my participating in the Occupy movement was that the human microphone thing seems cool. That really just hit me in the gut. This country can be great, and I truly believe we can get it there again but it has to be us. I think we can agree that the political atmosphere in Washington has become so convoluted that there is really no real progress being made in either direction. Because those politicians are no longer there representing the people of their cities and states, they are representing the new constituency, corporations. These corporations are buying everyone and the price is the American people…and that includes my friends.

Now I use them as an example of what I call the middle class complacency; because I know them, but they are not alone. We are all having a tough time in this economy but it isn’t it our duty as free citizens to ask ourselves what really happened to get us here? And to ask who is being hurt by this? Who is gaining from that hurt and loss? I believe it is human law, intrinsic and pure, that we take care of other people. All other people. If we go against that law for long enough we will be punished, and we have been ignoring that law for a long time. We are hunters and gatherers but we hunt and gather for the good of those around us. Somehow we have gotten so far away from that, we have become what is mine is mine and you can’t have it. Of course that too is natural, the territorial nature is basic…but when did it become that we will watch those around us, in our own country, starve and freeze and go without so much and still not be willing to give up a little bit of what we have gained.

I should give more, I could do more. This is what keeps me up at night. Why am I not out there fighting for those who can’t? I actually think everyone can they just don’t know the how. I believe education is the key to all success; we have to learn to gain. If you don’t know how you are being swindled by the current system then you would have no reason to fight against it…just like having an illness if you don’t know what is wrong you will never figure out how to get well. And there is the rub, America is sick and we can all help make her better again. It is going to be a long and hard battle, there will be moments where we might not think we are going to make it but we can and we will keep fighting.

We are such a young country and our internal antibodies don’t seem to have been as important to us as our external ones. We have been fighting everyone else’s wars while ignoring our own. We see symptoms of illness in the world and we send our tanks and our drones to try and make it better, while being completely blindsided by the fact that our country is being worn down, and weakened from the inside out. We have been and continue to be crippled by those who stand at the top.

We have a virus and it is time for us to fight it, we are the antibodies that can fix this country. Let’s fight the illness and take back our America.



Be My, Be My Little Baby!

I cannot even express how many times I have said to myself, you need to sit down at that computer and write. Write your little heart out. I had no idea I had neglected my blog this long...seriously January 7 was my last post AND that was just a info dump from my deleted myspace page (remind me to tell you about an argument I have been having with one of my dear friends about myspace, would love your input).

8 months, 8 months and a handful of days since I put all of my life's craziness into words...I am astounded. Well I am a fbook, twitter, and now G+ -aholic so it isn't like the world has been void of my postings of opinions and such...but this is just different! I know you know what I am talking about. I can sit here and tell you about my love and my loss my laughter and smiles. The things that have encouraged my and beaten me down. I want to be extremely open. I think there is a person in my life who might not quite appreciate the openness of all that I am going/wanting to say but I can't let that stop me. I need advice and opinions.

Some people might say why don't you just turn to your friends...and I do, I talk to them and tell them what is going on in my life, to a certain degree. I have a problem with casual intimacy...in the friendship realm. It is one of those situations where everyone I am really close to in my life is a couple. I kid you not I am basically the only single person I know, talk to and hang out with...and my "singleness" is deserving of quotations because it is a murky territory. I am madly in love but I'll come back to that in a bit. as for needing to get all out there, I am a let it all hang out (in hopefully a decently written conversational manner) type of gal. there are times where I think, well I probably could have gone without saying that, but I in general don't like limitations. Limitations offend my sensibilities.

I have been running the marathon of life since we last spoke. I was promoted to a full-time position in my company, and since then been promoted and given a raise. I have been placed on the Board of Directors at Trustus Theatre, as well as taken on the task as "curator" for The Gallery at Trustus. (we have always had artists show their work but I am trying to make it a legit place to showcase talented artists and their designs/creations.) The arts are a community and we need to interact, support and offer out a hand if needed! I bought a car, moved into and decorated my own apartment and adopted 2 cats...wow we really HAVEN'T talked. I went to Mexico, read a bunch of good books, stage managed 2 shows, am rehearsing for another one and Assistant Directing a 3rd all before the end of the year! I have to say one of the most important things I have done in the past few months would be that I lost 25lbs! It fluctuates about 5LBS here and there but daaaaaaaamn that is the weight of my best friend's youngest daughter. I have basically lost a two year-old child. Now luckily I am one of those body types where I just kind of shrink so it isn't really that noticeable when I go up and down a little, but man this is the most I have ever lost...and I am doing it the right way, the healthy way!

I joined weight watchers and use that as a tool along with working out on a regular basis. I am running more than I ever have before in my life and it feels like such an accomplishment. If you are stuck WW is a great way to get your mind in the right place to loose the pounds!

I have never been so in tune and interested in healthy life options...I see nutrition classes in my future. Along with classes in non-profit management! I am loving, loving, loving the momentum I have going in my work life and just want to keep it going!

Well speaking of work I should probably get back to it! I promise not to leave you for so long again. I promise new posts and pictures and surprises, and heartfelt stories and admissions!

Have a wonderful Wednesday! May it sparkle for you!

Ramblings!!!

Nerd Alert!

So I am a big fan of bruise boasting, what is bruise boasting you may ask? Well anyone who grew up playing sports understands what I am talking about.

Imagine the dusty softball field, the batter steps up to the plate. The first baseman pounds the inside of her glove with anticipation. Batter lets the first pitch slide right on by. She taps her cleat with the aluminum cylinder and steps back in the box. Pitcher winds up and releases the ball, the batter steps forward and makes bat to ball contact, but sadly it has just reached the tip and the ball careens its way towards first base where the baseman is waiting with a smirk of acknowledgement that this batter, who like the ball is now plowing her way towards the base, is inevitably OUT. The confident first baseman scoops up the melon-sized ball and carelessly strides across the base. BAMB, batter and baseman collide, the blue-shirted baseman is airborn sideways and lands now gripping her swollen ear that made direct contact with the runner's hard plastic helmet. Shaking the daze out of her head she stands up and trots to the dough-out a little wobbly but glad that the inning is over.

Well that blue shirted first baseman was me. I had a striped bruise from my right cheek bone across my ear, the point where the helmet's brim met my head. I wore that bruise with pride. We victoriously beat the red shirted team in the play-offs and went on to the finals. So that bruise was a battle scar, I took one for the team if you will.

However that was nearly 10 years ago. I now have two parallel line bruises on my upper hip. They are about 5 inches long and a ghastly purple. I wish I had some honorable story I could tell you about how I landed on a racket during a highly competitive tennis match, but no not even close. I was leaving a friends house the other evening, my car was parked on a hill so I had responsibly pulled my parking break. Not realising that by engaging the break some things had shifted around my console. I open the door and plopped down in my seat full force, no grace involved on this decent thanks to the sore legs from cycling. All of a sudden I realize that I have direct hip to case contact and I loose complete balance and the door comes crashing down on my left foot. What kind of case could have caused such pandemonium, well that is where the title of this comes into play. Nerd Alert. It was a case that contains the 10 CDs of my most recent book-on-Cd that I have been listening to as I troll around the city. That is right, Carl Hiaasen's Basket Case  has left a tender wound on my right side! Don't worry I made sure to show it off to friends and boast of how far my coolness factor has fallen in the past decade.

(Possibly my favorite thing I have ever written!!)

On the topic of Love

Well On the topic of love, no I don't think I have ever been in love. I love all the time with the people I am around, the things I enjoy, my environment in general and just the cognitive process....but as in becoming enraptured by the concept of loving one individual...no. Not that I wouldn't lend myself freely to it I just have neither been in the right place nor met the right person.

I tell myself that it is most likely not going to happen till I am a little more stable in my surroundings. But that is a bit of a copout because the truth of the matter is that I have never met anyone who has inspired me to that point.

I want to leave this town and seek out new surroundings and new people, not because of any disdain for this town, it is ........Columbia it is my home, but to be honest it is not where I am at rest... I am always looking around the corner waiting for a flash or a jolt or a moment to just sweep me off my feet and although I have had amazing moments they have been fleeting! I have somewhat unrealistic dreams about love and romance. I want what I want and although I believe in compromise I do not believe in settling! One should never give up a piece of what they want to accept what somebody else has to give them...they should meld together to create a better whole a sum larger and greater.

That is why I live in the romance in my head...it will rain outside and I will imagine taking someone's hand to run out and play in it, but when I realize that there has yet to be an individual in my life that I would share a playful moment as such with me then I am left with the scene in my head. One day I am sure I will have that hand to reach out to and pull along but not now, not yet.

I have also slated myself to being OK with the idea of never finding that fire in another person. I think some people want it so badly that they are unwilling to wait or face the fact that it may not be in their cards....and I will wait and if I never turn that corner I will be OK. I will always have companionship but I will never pretend to love someone I don't, for the sake of winning the game!

(This was written in 2008, things have changed a bit...)

Vacation of qualifying statements...

How interesting, how did I make it here. A child who rebelled is now a woman with a plan. Time passes and time has passed, I reflect and move on but never forget those stories untold. Back in this house with walls so tall stairs that speak with their rhythmic creaks. A family few and far between, listless love broken against as anger drops to its knees. Eyes so deep with the memory of it all. Your face that haunts and your voice incomplete...your presence when I sleep. You rest in the souls of my feet and run through my hollows an emptiness your absence will always ignite. A dance and a song another moment gone my hands in the air spinning with the beat a foggy glance and improbable romance forced through the thick. Silk ridden anger sailing through the piercing bliss, chalk covered faces with purple highlighted bones where is the name the drum the endless rest. Finding a muse from a ruse drifting through prickled lettered bulletins following through staged belief. Pursed lips lingered flick unanswered call with click and a fall. Qualified life and spirited gloss rubbed in the raw. Gentle brush tiny chill putting fill. Waking moss with bruised blankets covering it all. Inserting a silent cough to take hold and tumble fall. Wiggled pose with assertive glow, course and lush grained with steel pressed with sacred scents.  Guiding my life past the rips and stringing a cord to call a tale and pushing it forward and persevering through it all.

(Posted Date: : Jun 12, 2006 10:21 PM <---- crazy talk)

Poetic Attempts...

PULP 

Balancing on the precipice of change.

Teetering on the brink of gratified destruction;

Taking them down.

The fear and enthusiasm, paralyzed and exhilarating,

Forcefully, categorically forward.

Knowing, trusting to step, gracefully, assuredly.

A sturdy base to stand on; cultivated.

Kneaded, nourished with breadth

On the verge, the breakdown, standing, staring,

Stand and stare, unmovable.

The energy the spirit propelling forward,

Kept moving, not stopping.

Gone.

The peaceful quiet awoken.

A tumbling mass, exuberance, electric pulse, the pulp.

A body tired but yearning, a beating, prove and withstand, a chance.

Push, pull, set, test…limitless.

A mind, relieved, unquestioned, constant.

Wandering singularly without reproach; unchained…

Grow, learn, blossom.

A heart poised, ready, unheeding, at home to thrive,

The pulse the prance, a beat of the drum.

Pounds alone, for everyone, masterful, palpable,

A new little tune, rhythms and groove.

Corners to turn, new corners, sights and faces…

Unexplored, unquestioned, conquerable. 

 Sep 3, 2007

Red Velvet Rocking Chair

The red velvet rocking chair

Where you rest your weary bones,

Its arms surround you like your

Father's lost embrace.

The Christmas tree stands solemnly

Offering the warming glow

That casts the green light passively

Across your tear glazed jowl.

The time of year tip-toes around

The absence of his merry sound.

Those roaring laughs with great resound.

You wait for him to drop us off,

To take your chance with love.

We're welcomed with your clanking glass,

Wrapped with this year grudge.

Destinée Manifeste

His hand slides down

the contours of her slender arm,

her eyes focus on a spot in the sky.

His pecan hand

slowly streaks down

her white gown, firmly

resting on her inner thigh.

There is heat in her cheeks, a warm

brush stroke of pink

across her caramel skin;

her breath begins to hasten

as the music quickens its beat.

He tightens his hands between

her fingers and thighs, as gentle

winds flow from the speaker 

whispering time to begin. 

He lifts her towards the heavens

as she arches her lovely spine,

 the point of her foot extended

as he spins her, keeping time.

The pads of her feet press

lightly as he lowers her to the ground,

their movements, mirror images,

like a poems use of sound.

Their story is a solemn one,

of passion, lust and loss.

He dies there on that stage each night

as she weeps, her cursed luck.

She spins around his body

contorted on the floor.

Her arms cross her chest,

her heavy feet drag

left, right, left,

slowing the rhythm of her dance.

The burden of his gruesome death

pressed heavily on her chest

She collapses on that wooden stage

with one last glance at God

the story ends as it began

lying there, hand in hand.

(The above was written after watching a dance performance by Terrence Henderson's Vibrations Dance Company)

Rekindling

The night began with a drink in her hand.

The liquor she sips unzipping all of her stresses,

Swaying and stepping to the sounds of this band,

Wonder if he noticed how pretty her dress is.

Ruby cheeked with no chance for defeat

playing it cool now time to charm and to fool.

Catching her breath walking back to her seat

He touches her arm catching fire from her fuel.

She'll never ignite without some sort of fight

Batting her lashes while strutting right past him.

With a pause for composure he regains his might

this war is worth winning, but this battle's looking grim.

Now hand in hand he feels like a dominant man

But she smiles to herself, amused by her master plan.

Glimpse

I carefully pull back the albums plastic,

Torn brittle and dry from too many years

That passed by. Your smile ear to ear

seductively taunted by the last candle lit.

Your beauty, your power, chilling and tragic

Passed down year by year. So many revere

The way your warming eyes are mysteriously clear.

Or how you skillfully charm all the men with your wit.

It was as a child I learned of your tricks

Your pillar possessed no crevice for fear,

Pushing through opposition, never shedding a tear,

a woman's right to be valiant, you fought bit by bit

You taught me your ways, so subtle yet brave

So tomorrow I'll take a rose to your grave

The Ravine

The door echoes through the hollow floor.

As sunlight pours through the windows,

the carpeted room surrounds the girl,

her bronzed skin polished by a somber rouge;

she stifles a cry and takes her place in line.

The portrait delicately illuminates the corner,

cold hands softly pass one by one.

The girl rests her gazes upon the coffee stain,

violently discoloring the neatly tailored suite.

A hand brushes her shoulder,

the thick room is thrust back into view.

The wooden chairs tenderly placed

side by side begin to fill;

they are filled with eyes, glances stares,

all watching the girl, waiting, praying.

The black rim of her hat dips,

the aroma of flowers overwhelms her senses;

she fingers a porous petal and sits in silence.

Like a shadow banished by the light

her hat raises, revealing her strong features

threatened by a wave of insolent tears.

Bye Bye My...

Well let's see, six years ago I liked a boy, that boy was in a band. I google'd said band and it led me to a Web site called Myspace. I had never heard of this site before, but was interested. I wanted to know more about this guy/band so I created a profile....and thus began my love affair with social media. I mean I ROCKED it on Myspace for a while. I had tons of friends and fun and took quizzes and posted bulletins EG and I checked our "stuff" we uploaded pics. I mean we had picture taking sessions just to put on Myspace, hey we were in our early 20s it was acceptable behavior back then...right??!!

It caused drama in relationships, I had to block more than one guy who insisted on sending me nude pictures REALLY guy, am I honestly going to be like ooh yeah I'm in love..NOOO!!!! But I have to say one of the good things that I started on the site was blogging. I would write randomly or post poems, articles and other stories that I have written.

So I have come to the conclusion that I need to cancel that account. I mean I never check it and the pictures, although super exciting, are unfortunately out of date and I don't want to be one of those women who posts pictures of herself from 5 years ago, because come on I look different now. I like the way I looked then and I like the way I look now, besides I'm not trying to front!

But there are some things from there that I don't want to lose in the cancellation. So I will post them here...on my somewhat more advanced "big girl blog" ha!

First my About Me. This was last edited while I was an in college maybe 4 years ago:

Let the woman you look upon be wise or vain, beautiful or homely, rich or poor, she has but one thing that she can give or refuse- her heart. Her beauty, her wit, her accomplishments, she may sell to you; but her love is the treasure without money and without price. She asks only in return that when you look upon her your eyes shall speak devotion; that when you address her your voice shall be gentle, loving, and kind...for, when misfortune and evil have defeated your greatest purposes, her love remains to console you." -Theodore Dreiser's Sister Carrie @--------^-----------

Yes I yell and I laugh and I love, but most of all I live. I want no one to settle for OK. Be great, be bad, get dirty, whatever you want just live life hard! My MO, learn from my mistakes, and ohh I have made some good ones. So I wish everyone a little insight into their own life, find your style and kick it! Wake up and pay attention and swim in all the ish. Take it live it love it...get CRAZY.

Ah bless that brings back memories!

Now I will go through and take my blog postings and post them on here...I imagine some will be pretty funny, while others are pretty (melo)dramatic!

So enjoy as I say farewell to an interesting part of my social existence!

You got spark, you got spunk!

So a bit of a fail on my part on the Liberty Sparkle Hearts front. I tell you what though this girl has been kicking it busy style. I feel like so much has changed in this past month that it would be hard to try and rehash. Somethings that stand out might be that we are now in a new year 2011. Yeah baby, what does everyone think about that? I mean I know that 2010 was crazy because I started it off in Xi'an, China style and ended it all up in South Carolina getting my party on! Both were equally fantastic but for extremely different reasons.

Well let's see in China I started the night off with my parents and roommate Lindsay at BEST Cooking, our favorite restaurant in the city. Then we headed to Oscar's Bar and just relaxed and drank a bit of mulled wine supplied by THE DCFW! The night quickly crept towards midnight and we realized that a change of venue was imperative! So we tried to catch a cab, which was all in vain since they were not stopping for our group of foreign bodies. Finally we Lindsay and I climbed in a Boom Boom (omgah boom boom's total China flash back with this one) which is basically a motorized scooter that has a box attached to the back for passengers to ride. The traffic was heavy as usual inside the city wall and L and I were concerned that our driver's extra slow pass would cause us to spend "the ball drop" on the rainy Xian street. With luck and the Boom Boomer's mad navigational skills we made it to Club Salsa (not a salsa club, go figure). Our friends met us at the metal detectors (they do NOT play) and escorted us to our table. The dance floor was packed and there were Chinese girls everywhere dressed in pink chiffon handing out lollipops, it was a brilliant site. Unfortunately D and his girlfriend Terry did not take the Boom Boom with us so they made it to the club after we did and spent the countdown standing at the door. But they made it over and hugs and kisses were administered all around! The rest of the night was spent dancing around our bottle service table enjoying the loud music and good company. And by company I mean the one guy that really caught a crush from me. Not ever sure what his actual name was but we called him Glasses. Ooo he was tall and smooth and fun to dance with and be around! After that we probably street fooded it up and headed home, where I am positive that I ended up on my soapbox for about an hour! Sorry about that Linz! :)

This year was similar in that it was fantastic, but it was inevitably completely different. A bit of drama and fighting friends surrounded the week leading up to the day but as things are with friends everything was smoothed out in time for a great night! Donning a pair of hot pink spandex leggings from American Apparel I began the day planning my outfit (clearly) around said leggings. (I apologize to Columbia for unleashing those leggings upon you with reckless abandon). Met up with my friend Lydia and hit the gym where we worked out then steamed/polled/hot tubbed it up! Delightful. Most of the afternoon was spent concocting Snooki Drops (my aptly named Jell-o shots) we made a variety of colors and flavors. They may have been perfect (and by may I mean were!) I went home napped/showered/dressed NSD, and then headed to Sara and Tony's house where my friends were congregating to watch the Gamecocks take on The Seminoles (that is the only time I will mention that game) and join together for good food and merriment. After a proper amount of time was spent house-partying it I headed downtown DD in the front attitude in the back. I think the pants brought out the sassy in me that night! We headed to The Whig briefly, one of my favorite local spots! Then off with Margey and Aaron to the glorious home of MP, design editor for the new mag I will be writing for Undefined! We rang in 2011 surrounded by beautiful and fabulous people. In honor of the new year I was ready to turn the party up to 11 and headed off to the Art Bar. (want to make sure to say that each trip was handled by a designated driver RESPONSIBLE is the name of the 2011 game!) Not quite sure of all the events that took place past this point, but I do remember leaving the club and a thick fog had rolled over the city. the closest thing to the China NYE grey cloudy starless sky! It is OK though I had so much sparkle that night I must have stolen their spot light!! ;)

Overall I could never say which night was better but I can say that they were both brave and bold, the way life should be.

2011, what can I say..

Make Revolutions Not Resolutions

Embrace the Sparkle!